Chasing Cars

I am beginning to wonder if there is anything solid, anything real out there. It's been a couple days of a lot of doubt in life as well as the legal world. Think about it. Who can you trust? It's not the "backstabbing" world of law that I'm talking about; it's the constant errant nature of man that is causing me to have this deep well of insecurity settling in my soul.

If I were to hire an attorney today, knowing what I know of all the attorneys I've met, I do not know if I would be comfortable hiring any of them. I've seen most of them make pretty big mistakes. I've seen a lot of them make pretty blatant "mistakes." I've seen a lot of them turn into attorneys I don't like, while being human beings I feel I have to like.

If I were to pick a friend to have my back in this legal maze, I know I would only be asking them to forfeit their opportunities to promote me and align themselves with my reputation, knowing that I could, in one second with one indiscreet move, take out their entire career.

If I were to pick a friend to support, I know very well that it could all come back to bite me in the ass in a few years--when that one isn't doing so great, when that one decides to accuse you of something, when that one won't scratch your back after you've scratched theirs.

I'm beginning to understand why many attorneys choose to be ruthless in their craft instead of good in their person. Unfortunately, there seems to be more security, albeit false, in the former--maybe because the delinquency of man is more constant than the decency. I don't know why the cynicism today, but I do know this. Some days, I just want to lay here and forget the world.

SOL

Since I left the day program and became one of those "bring down the bar passage rate" part time evening students, I've had the opportunity to watch my remaining day student friends vie for positions in different firms, of all different sizes and reputations. The process is quite exhausting actually.

I ran into M in the apple store last week as I was shopping for computers with a friend. M is clerking at a Mid-size firm that has several U.S. offices. He works 10-12 hour days. He's expecting a job offer by this fall. But,he only wants to work in this city's office because it's the "fun office." If he doesn't get a job offer this fall, he's moving on. But, where? Who hires a current 3rd year for a possible associate position at that size of firm? So, what happens if it gets to the end of August and the partners end up seeing something they don't like in M? Is he SOL? Does he have to go work for the county? God forbid, so he's working his ass off now so he doesn't have to be in that position later.

Then, I talked to A, who works at a smaller mid-size firm than M's firm and works 8-10 hour days. It's a 25 attorney firm. She hasn't heard anything yet about a job offer at her firm, so she went and asked one of the associates with family ties to the firm how the job offering process went there. There is no formal clerk review or any indication of one's performance. The associate only got his job offer the month before he graduated law school, and his dad's a partner. So, this was his advice: "you're doing great, the firm loves your work, now go set up meetings with ALL the partners before the second week in August to let them know you're interested in a long term position. They'll probably vote in August. Oh, and the firm can most likely only hire one person." There are two law clerks. So, A quickly jumps on the opportunity to address her future goals with all the partners, knowing that, if she succeeds, she kicks her comrade out of a job. She has the upper hand because the other clerk is out on vacation. So, does that mean his SOL is running short, potentially leaving him SOL? All I know is that A doesn't want to be stuck her third year without a job either; then she'd have to go work for the county.

Then, there's me. The conversation yesterday was, "hey, you wanna go in the judge's office and putt?" "nah, let's take naps."

I work for the county.

Vote for me because she looks like Whoopi Goldberg

As I'm sitting in my office reading about Boob Taft in the Gongwer, the court administrator runs in and asks, "what's going on out there?" A few seconds later, the elevators all ding and deputies come running out. Black-belt Magistrates are running around, ready to restrain unruly clients. "What's wrong?" we all were asking.

Well, it seems that, if you're the prettier sister, you shouldn't say your uglier sister looks like Whoopi Goldberg, because, if you do choose to say that, your family might get in a courtroom brawl and get dragged out by the deputies, leaving your poor 90 year old mother alone in the courtroom with some attorneys to determine who gets to take care of her.

Seriously, people. At least it made for some good drama. Anyway, she really did kind of look like Whoopi Goldberg.