Neurotic Woman + Law = Uniform Dating Code

Uniform Commercial Code 2-712: When a "seller" refuses to acknowledge a contract, a "buyer" may...
1. "Cover," by making in good faith and without unreasonable delay, a Substitution...
2. Recover damages in the form of the difference between the cost of cover and the contract price together with any incidental or consequential damages... (2-715)

So, I started this dating application. Some of you have read it and have given me some great additions! My friend and I just figured it would be best to go over the major questions first--you know, to dig out all the important information before falling in love and then facing major disappointment.

I started with this simple form from the psychiatric department of the probate court.

That's a good start to weed out the psychos. But, see, I've come across plenty of liars. So, I figure, afer putting down all kinds of information about themselves, these guys better be telling the truth. So, I decided, a Dating Contract would be the best way to go! Don't you?

"Hey, you really like me, right? Because I like you."

"Definitely."

"Here, answer these questions."

"Umm, ok."

"It's not much--just questions about your criminal record, faith, dating history, mental condition, physical health, emotional stability, family relations, grooming habits, substance reliance, medications, character--you know, maturity, honesty, ability to communicate, commitment...just simple stuff. Oh, and don't forget to sign every page. Do you have a lawyer?"

Ok, so I definitely sound neurotic. This application is definitely going to be a contract.

They make the offer: "hey, I'd love to see you again sometime." or "Can I give you a call?"

I counter offer: "Well, I only go out with guys who fill this out and sign it."

He looks confused.

I offer consideration to hold his offer open: "here's my number; call me anytime."

They give consideration: "sure, X place, Y time." or "Here's my number."

He gives an answer: He fills out the application, signing it, including the line that states that he will follow through with behavior consistent with the answers in the application and that he answered all questions thoroughly and honestly. (kind of like a questionnaire you'd fill out for employment)

I give an answer: I go on the first date.

So, 2 weeks into the relationship when he (surprisingly--oh my gosh, he's a man) disappoints me and acts in direct opposition to how he portrayed himself in the application, I can tell him,

"You know, you're in breach of your contract. But, if you want to make it up to me, you can cover."

"I can what?"

"You know, cover! Offer a substitution. Since you said you never did drugs, but now tell me that you are addicted to heroin, you can "cover" that breach of our contract by immediately going to rehab to let me know that it's something you're going to fight with all your might to never do again. OR Since you said you don't own any weapons, but you really do, you can substitute for that breach by getting rid of your gun and membership to the NRA." (don't take that seriously, readers. It's just a hypothetical.)

And, then, if they only provide half-hearted cover, I can recover the difference between what I expected and what I actually got. And, if they don't even try to "cover," then, according to UCC 2-713, I can recover the Market value of what I thought I was going to receive--market value being determined at the time I discovered the breach.

But, wait, what's the market value of a lost relationship? Wow, that all came to a screeching halt. Hmm, guess my neurosis got the best of me for just one blog entry. Oh well, I guess I'll still stick with the dating application--just without the contractual aspects.